T11M

I was welcomed to DC by my good friend Michael Thompson with a greeting that has stuck with me. He said: “Welcome to the Capitol of the Free World, my friend!” I like that. Now, on a lighter note, what I have learned in the first week of living here:

1. When walking, never watch where you are going.  The sites are far too interesting, and besides, nobody really cares if you walk right into them or weave back and forth across the path/hall/sidewalk.
2. Never for any reason pass up the opportunity to take a picture.  As soon as you can see the monument/building/cool photo opportunity, stop in the middle of the path/hall/sidewalk and take the picture.  Again, no one cares if you inconvenience them.
3. At some point, rent a bike.  Bike’s are incredibly useful in DC, especially in large crowds of people who are walking.  There is nothing more fun than dodging and weaving in and out of groups of people.
4. Mumble consistently and concisely.  Never speak clearly, politely or in full sentences.  When ordering a sandwich don’t say: “I would like a Tuna sandwich, on wheat bread, please.”  Instead say: “Gimmeatuna.”  When asked what you said, slow it down only a little, DO NOT stop mumbling: “Giimmeeaattuunnaa.”  Slowly make the person taking your order guess what you really want.  That’s a fun game for all involved, especially those standing behind you in line – they LOVE IT!
5. Learn to honk.  If you don’t use your horn every 5 minutes or less, you will stick out as an out-of-towner. Even if you don’t drive that day, make sure to set off your car alarm to help contribute to the noise of the city.  Remember, everyone must do his or her part.
6. Sing to yourself while walking.  Don’t worry, no one will think you are crazy because there is a much crazier looking/sounding/acting person less than a block away (regardless of time of day or location within DC)